This bit of log resulted in late night ponderings about Lina and Gourry's wedding night.

* Irony notices a lot of ^'s floating around...
* Irony takes a flyswater to the ^'s.
<Irony> Flyswater? Fly's water? Ewwwwwwwwww...
<spaceelf> *^ flies off frantically!
<Irony> Flyswatter.
<spaceelf> Irony!!!
<Irony> Amazing how much difference a spot of t makes.
<spaceelf> We had enough puns already!
<Irony> (I'm hyper too, okay?)
<BJ> Gourry is one that needs to please but I still can see him wary and down right scared of anything Lina suggests.
<spaceelf> ^<<<<<<<<< ~>~>~>~>~^
<spaceelf> They're flying away Irony!
<Irony> *nods* Hmmm... Lina will probably have to promise him, repeatedly, that she will NOT fireball him for this or that...
* Irony runs after ^'s with a butterfly net.
<spaceelf> >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>^
* Irony catches one... yay!
<BJ> Oh no! They aren't flying away they are swooping in for an attack!!
* Irony looks at the ^ in her net... now what...
<spaceelf> ^........................
<Irony> AIEEEEEE!
<BJ> AHHHH!!
<spaceelf> Help!!!
<spaceelf> ^ ^^ ^ ^^^^ ^ ^ ^^^ ^ spaceelf ^^^^^ ^^ ^
<spaceelf> I'm being swarmed!
* Irony sics the hentai fairies on the ^'s.
<spaceelf> Are you sure the ^'s AREN'T hentai fairies?
<spaceelf> Maybe that's our problem! ^^;; (eek! two more!)
<Irony> Hmm... good question...
<BJ> I can see it. (<Gourry> You want me to do what?...with my What?... to your WHAT?!! Are you sure that's not a dragon slave-able offence???)
<Lina> SUMMON JELLYFISH!
<Gourry> Yes?
<Irony> (Another one I really wish I could cast IRL... ^^)
<Irony> *laughs*
<Irony> There's actually a gag about that in SR...
* Zelgadis sweatdrops.
<Zelgadis> Ewwwwww.....
<Irony> (I don't know why... there would just be something so fun about being able to call up great big jellyfish.)
<spaceelf> Soo.......
<BJ> Maybe they are hentai fairies...*SQUISH*SPLAT*
<spaceelf> You guys are gonna write that stuff on the wedding night session right!
<Irony> Oya oya...
* spaceelf gets image of this channel on the wedding night with two separate lemons gong simultaneously...
<spaceelf> scary!!
<BJ> Definitely Hentai fairies...*SQUISH*SPLAT*
<Irony> Eeegads... awful though... Gourry DOES know what it was Zel and Amelia were doing, right?
* spaceelf snickers
<BJ> Yes... slightly. (Then again knowing Gourry I'm never sure if he might forget.)
<Irony> Oh, DEAR...
<Irony> *wonders if there's a LG lemon around that includes THAT...*
* spaceelf wants to see a lemon with Lina telling Gourry what to do. Then remembers she's already seen one before.
<Irony> Oy.
<Irony> I find a good rule of thumb for any idea in fanfiction is (a) it's been done and (b) badly...
<spaceelf> I can't remember WHERE it is. But there's one where Lina has to tell Gourry what to do. And actually that one wasn't that bad.
<spaceelf> Not like the lemon I read the other day >.<
* Irony summons up anti-hentai fairies
<Irony> (Which would be what? Plato fairies?)
<spaceelf> Innocence fairies?
<Irony> Cutesy fairies?
<spaceelf> cutesy could be hentai too..
<Irony> Unfortunately true
<Irony> G-rated fairies?
* Irony tries an experiment... inject ^'s into the channel and see if the hentai level automatically goes up...
<Irony> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^6
* Irony looks around... nothing happening...
<spaceelf> Just wait a bit
<Irony> Silly Fic Idea: Marchina discovers that there is a real Zoamelgustar, and he's not nearly so monstrous as she'd hoped...
<BJ> But then again it will be interesting to see how the two somewhat non-hentai RP'ers do at a lemony scene.
<Irony> Yeah.
<spaceelf> Non hentai?? Irony?? <elf will not laugh will not laugh..>
<spaceelf> You can do all innuendo and no actual descriptions.
<BJ> *Wonders how well Gourry will do with innuendo and subtlety...*
<Irony> Gourry. Subtlety.
<Irony> ... processing ...
<spaceelf> Gourry won't be subtle. But the person writing about him can be subtle
<Irony> This program has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down...
<BJ> Even worse. Lina and subtlety.
* Irony tries that one, and her brain brings up the BSoD.
<spaceelf> I'm actually not that good at writing directly explicit things. Ryo had to drag most of that out of me. I'm more inclined to say "Zel accidentally finds his hand in a very interesting place" than actually say WHAT place.
<spaceelf> <Lina> GOURRY! You Jellyfish! It goes HERE!
<BJ> L and G will drag on only because Gourry will keep asking questions.
<spaceelf> *Lina points
<Irony> O.o
<spaceelf> Then you don't have to say where.
* Irony gives the hentai award to EFS and retires.
* Irony notes those ^'s seem to be taking effect.
* spaceelf is laughing like crazy..
<BJ> <Gourry.> What goes there?
<spaceelf> <Lina> That! <points>
<Irony> <Lina> The pickle.
<BJ> <Gourry> But it won't fit!
<spaceelf> See you can do the whole thing without actually SAYING anything hentai. But we'll know what you're talking about.
<Irony> <Lina> Things stretch.
* spaceelf *giggle*
<Irony> I think I put a few too many ^'s in here...
<spaceelf> <Lina> <with fangs showing> Now stop asking questions and DO it!
<BJ> <Gourry> EeK! But you'll hurt me!
<spaceelf> (elf is NOT hentai, elf is NOT hentai...)
<Irony> <Lina> No, I won't! You're more likely to hurt me at this, okay?
<spaceelf> <Lina> I will if you don't! now Do it!
<BJ> <Gourry> But I don't want to hurt you!
* Irony *Lina starts destroying a pillow in frustration.
<Irony> <Lina> Can we just get on with this? It's an essential part of marriage!
<BJ> <Gourry> EEK! *Hides.*
* Irony * Lina drags Gourry out of his hiding place. "Come back here, you..."
<BJ> <G> *Starts crying* But you'll hurt me if I hurt you!!!
<Irony> * Lina grabs Gourry by the ears and kisses him, figuring that will shut him up.
<BJ> <G>Umph*Reply is muffled.*
<Irony> <L> Now... can we get on with it, please?
<Irony> <L> BEFORE I have to tie you to the bed?
<BJ> <G> Eep! Okay Lina.
<BJ> So much for foreplay...
<Irony> *stomach hurts*
<spaceelf> How did they ever get out of the clothes in the first place?
<Irony> That's a good question.
<spaceelf> <Lina> STRIP!
<Irony> *laughs* *ow, stomach...*
<BJ> <G> Eep! Okay Lina.
<spaceelf> <Gourry> Are you going to close your eyes again?
<Irony> *to hentai fairies* No, I will NOT make a fanfic out of this! GO AWAY!
<BJ> <G> *Midway* Aren't you going to turn around?
<spaceelf> <Lina> No. We're married now. We're supposed to share everything.
<spaceelf> <Lina> That means I get to see you naked.
<BJ> <G> But doesn't that mean I get to see you naked?*Scratches head.*
<Irony> <Lina> Yes, it does.
<BJ> <G> O_O WHAT!!!
<Irony> <Lina> What's your problem, Gourry? *starts taking her clothes off*
<BJ> <G> *Turns around and covers his eyes.*
<Irony> <Lina> GOURRY!
<Irony> * Lina takes the rest of her clothes off. "Gourry, you can look."
<BJ> <G> Hmm...O_O*Turns around and cowers with his eyes closed.*
<BJ> <G> I didn't see anything!!!
<Irony> <L> Lina, you can look! I won't fireball you. I promise.
<Irony> <L> You're SUPPOSED to look at your wife naked.
<BJ> <G> I am?
<Irony> <L> Yes, you are. It's called a perk.
<BJ> <G> A perk?
<spaceelf> (And it's supposed to make you 'perk' up!)
<Irony> <L> A benefit. Something nice that comes with something else. You're married to me, you get to look at me naked.
<spaceelf> (elf wonders how Lina convinces Gourry it's safe to take another perk... Touching her breast! Something he's been fireballed for repeatedly...)
<BJ> <G> Okay. *Looks.* Now are you going to get in your PJ's so we can go to bed?
<spaceelf> (BJ: LOL!!)
<Irony> <L> *moans.
<spaceelf> (Lina has LONG night ahead of her!!!)
<Irony> <L> Married people don't wear PJs to bed.
<spaceelf> (And most of it will probably NOT be actual sex, but rather explaining sex.)
<BJ> <G> They don't sleep in their regular clothes do they?
<Irony> <L> No. They wear their birthday suits.
<Irony> *should prolly know better than to use a euphemism...*
<BJ> <G> I didn't get a suit for my birthday.
<Irony> <L> It's an expression, Gourry. When you're in your 'birthday suit,' it means you're naked.
<BJ> <G> Okay Lina. *He gets naked.* So now we go to sleep?
<spaceelf> (*He gets naked* giggle!)
<Irony> <L> *heavy sigh* No. Now we do what Zel and Amelia have been doing all week.
<spaceelf> (<Zel> HEY!!! We only did that HALF the week!!!)
<BJ> <G> Really? Um... where do we begin?
<Irony> <L> *sits down* By getting in bed, I guess.
<Irony> <L> What, you think I've done this before?
<BJ> No. I could never picture you doing stuff like that.
<Irony> <L> Well, we have to do it now, or we're not really married.
<BJ> <G> Okay. *Gets into bed.*Okay. I'm ready. Now what?
<Irony> <L> Oh, boy...
<Irony> <L> *gets into bed, too... and since there's not much space, lies down partly on top of Gourry* "Well... you DO know what Zel and Amelia have been doing, right? You do know how it's done..."
<BJ> <G> Eep. Watch what you are touching, Lina!!!
<Irony> <L> *groans* Should I take that as a 'no'?
<Irony> <L> *wiggles into even closer proximity with what Gourry didn't want her to touch*
<BJ> <G> Eep! Lina! Don't touch it!!
<Irony> <L> *evilly* Don't touch what? THIS?
<Irony> <L> *squeeze*
<Irony> (Oh, god... DEFINITELY an OD on ^'s there...)
<BJ> <G> EEEKK!! LIIINNAA!!!
<Irony> <L> giggles.
<Irony> <L> Now c'mon... you know what Zel and Amelia have been doing, right? *pleading* Gourry, TELL me you know!
<spaceelf> (<Zel> Nothing! We weren't doing Anything!)
<BJ> <G> *Panicking slightly.* Yes! Now stop touching it!!
<spaceelf> (<Zel> Gourry, you got that? We were doing NOTHING!)
<Irony> <L> *tickles* Great, so now we have to do what they were doing.
<Irony> <L> . o O (At least he's ready... looks like he might just have some hormones after all.)
<Irony> <L> *peeks under covers* . o O (Hey, it's true! Big hands, big...)
<BJ> <G> *starts to *ahem* react to Lina and tries to stop her without touching anything that will get him killed.*
<spaceelf> (Irony Definitely looked at those doujinshi scans longer than she'll admit...)
<Irony> (Shaddup.)
<Irony> (I only looked at 'em once, and only shortly... it's just that that kinda thing sorta sticks in your mind...)
<Irony> <L> Gourry, you can tickle me, too.
<BJ> <G> But I might touch something!
<Irony> <L> For crying out loud, it's okay! We're married, remember?
<BJ> <G> But you'll fireball me!
<Irony> <L> No, I won't.
<BJ> <G> Yes you will if I accidentally touch...
<Irony> <L> No, I won't!
<Irony> <L> *thinks this is gonna take a while... looks like they'll be going through it step by slow, painful step...*
<spaceelf> <L> Look, Gourry... That's another one of the perks. OK?
<Irony> (*giggles*)
<spaceelf> <L> Here, Give me your hand.
<Irony> (Is anyone logging this... it's GOING to become a fanfic, you realize...)
<spaceelf> (Yes, I'm logging it <looks guilty>)
<BJ> <G> Um okay Lina. *Gives her his hand.*
<Irony> <L> *puts Gourry's hand on her left breast*
<spaceelf> (<Zel to Amelia> How do you think Lina and Gourry are doing?)
<Irony> <L> *puts Gourry's hand on her left breast*
<BJ> <G> O_O Wha??* Backs way quickly.* Why do you want me to touch you... t,t,there?
<Irony> <L> Yes, I do.
<spaceelf> (*Zel wonders how they are ever going to have sex considering that Lina will fireballs Gourry every time he touches her..)
<Irony> <L> You're supposed to, Gourry.
<BJ> *Pauses* Wait. I'm not dead yet? Why aren't I dead yet?
<Irony> <L> *sighs* Because I haven't killed you.
<BJ> <G> Why haven't you killed me yet? *Confused.*
<spaceelf> (<Zel to Ame> Lets make a bet... You have to wear the Justice panties again if Gourry has been toasted by morning.)
<Irony> <L> Because you haven't yet done anything I'd want to kill you for, okay?
<Irony> (<Ame to Zel> Okay, Mr. Zelgadiss, but if he isn't, then YOU have to wear them!)
<spaceelf> (LOL!!)
<BJ> <G> But I touched your... there! *points.*
<Irony> <L> Yes, and I didn't kill you! You can do it again if you want.
<spaceelf> (<L> thinks "And you'd darn well BETTER want to! No small chest comments!")
<BJ> <G> *Closes his eyes and hesitantly reaches out to touch one.*
<Irony> (Gee... next time somebody asks me if I've ever had cybersex, I can say yes... or at least, I can say sort of.)
<Irony> <L> They don't bite, Gourry.
<BJ> <G>*thinks* But Lina does!
<spaceelf> (... a threesome? With two or four characters? Just think of it as writing a lemon why don't ya!)
<Irony> <L> *waits*
<spaceelf> (Or am I a peeping tom here?)
<spaceelf> (So I'm in internet sex voyeur... Twisted!)
<Irony> (You can put that on your resume.)
<BJ> <G> *Thinks* Hmm... not that bad. I felt squishier ones before but still... not that bad.
<spaceelf> (collaborative lemon writing! okay?)
<spaceelf> (BJ: LOL!)
<Irony> <L> *lets her hands wander... Nagha's right... Gourry's got nice muscles...*
<BJ> <G> *Hesitantly opens one eye to see what he was doing.*
<spaceelf> (<L> .... Which squishier ones??? <fangs>)
<BJ> <G>*Think* Well she is smiling... maybe she won't kill me. *Reaches out his other hand to touch the other one.*
<Irony> <L> That's more like it.
<BJ> <G> Um... now what's next?
<Irony> <L> *sighs* Why me?
<BJ> <G> Why you what?
<Irony> <L> Look, didn't your dad ever sit you down for a talk or anything?
<BJ> <G> Well yeah... but I never stole candy after that! Honest!
<Irony> <L> L-sama, give me patience...
<spaceelf> (BJ!! .. *tries not to fall from the chair)
<spaceelf> (<L> Well now I WANT you to steal the candy!)
<BJ> What? That isn't the talk?
<Irony> <L> I meant about sex. You know what sex is, right? *pleading* Gourry, PLEASE tell me you know what sex is!
<spaceelf> (<G> Well I'm male and you're female..)
<BJ> <G> Ohhh. That talk! *Scrunches up his face trying to remember.* That's were the spermoza meets with the egg, right?
<Irony> <L> Yes, Gourry, that's the talk. You know how the sperm gets close to the egg, right?
<Irony> <L> . o O (Please, L-sama... I'm gonna need it...)
<BJ> <G> Swims right?
<Irony> <L> Er... yeah... but it has to... kinda be pushed first...
<BJ> <G> By what?
<Irony> <L> Oh, dear god...
<Irony> (BJ, remind me to kill you.)
<BJ> (Teehee!)
<spaceelf> (elf is laughing too hard.. hurts hurts!)
<Irony> (If I laugh out loud I'll wake my parents up.)
<Irony> (I have to HOLD IT IN. You understand?)
<Irony> <L> Well... when you got that talk... who gave it to you, by the way?
<spaceelf> (<L> Look. Do you at least know where the sperm comes from??)
<spaceelf> (<G> A pickle?)
<BJ> <G> My dad... then he got really red and said to ask my mother. When I asked she went to yell at my dad.
<Irony> <L> *almost cries*
<BJ> <G> At least that what I think happened...*scratches his head* at least that what I think I remember...
<Irony> <L> Okay, okay... you know where sperm come from, right?
<BJ> <G> Um...no.
<Irony> <L> *touchie feelie* These make sperm, okay?
<Irony> <L> o O (This is a bad dream... I'm gonna wake up... any minute now... I am GOING to wake up...)
<spaceelf> (Hands On Sex Ed Class!)
<spaceelf> (When trying to make the classroom seem real goes too far...)
<BJ> <G> AHH! Lina!! I don't want to go blind!
<Irony> <L> What?
<Irony> <L> What are you talking about?
<Irony> . o O (So that's why Rezo's blind...)
<Irony> (SORRY!)
<BJ> <G> The priest said that if I touched it a lot I'd go blind!
<Irony> <L> Well the priest lied.
<Irony> <L> . o O (This MUST be a nightmare... if I try hard enough, I CAN make myself wake up... I can I can I canicanicanicanican...)
<BJ> <G> Okay... you can touch it- But be gentle!
<spaceelf> (Just think Lina. You get to train him to do it however you want!)
<Irony> (<Lina> Sweeeeeeeeeeeet...)
<spaceelf> (Or as a certain teacher once said: "It's not a challenge. It's an OPPORTUNITY!")
<Irony> <L> Right. So sperm get made inside you. Before they can reach the egg they have to get inside ME. How do you think that works?
<Irony> <L> *is just amazed she's able to explain this without going off her rocker...*
<spaceelf> (The perfect man. Big, Strong, *BIG* and perfectly malleable to my every whim!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!)
<spaceelf> (And most of all Big!)
* Irony wonders if she ought to find it especially ironic that she's listening to 'Return to Innocence' right now.
<BJ> <G> Um... I don't know.
<spaceelf> (Hey, if you guys can make Hard Rock jokes....)
<Irony> <L> Well... um... *endocrine system must be finally catching up with what's going on... is REALLY starting to blush* You have to put them there.
<BJ> <G> How do I do that? If they are inside me... *Thinks hard.*
<spaceelf> (Oh dear.. Be careful you don't break him Lina with all that thinking!)
<Irony> <L> Come on, Gourry... I KNOW you can do it...
<Irony> <L> Think hard.
<BJ> <G> Whooaa Lina! Could you stop touching me so I can think!
<Irony> <L> Sorry. 9_9
<spaceelf> (<Zel> I had to say that too buddy... Poor guy.. another victim to the evil female conspiracy!)
<BJ> <G> I give up... so you can start touching me again.
<Irony> <L> *wonders if it's worth it*
<spaceelf> (*elf falls from chair)
<Irony> <L> *touchie feelie* Okay, you MUST know what'll happen if I do THIS for a while...
<BJ> <G> *Lost in bliss* Hmm? Wha?* Realizes what she's talking about.* Whoa! Then maybe you should stop now!
<Irony> <L> Okay, good, so you do understand SOMETHING. *squeeze* Well, when that happens, sperm come out.
<BJ> (I'm surprised Lina hasn't face falled yet.)
<BJ> <G> You mean that... stuff is...
<Irony> (She's DETERMINED to see this through. ^^)
<Irony> <L> Yeah. It's got sperm in it.
<BJ> <G> Really? Then how am I supposed to get it in you?
<Irony> <L> *says small prayer of thanks... we're getting somewhere*
<Irony> <L> Guess.
<spaceelf> (And DON"T guess the wrong hole pervert!)
<BJ> <G> *Removes Lina's hands for a while and starts thinking.*
<Irony> <L> *waits*
<Irony> <L> *watches Gourry's ears carefully for signs of smoke*
<spaceelf> (Lina.. at least there is this. You'll only have to train him ONCE. Hopefully...)
<BJ> <G> Do you eat it or something?
<spaceelf> (PERVERT!)
<Irony> <L> *gives in and facefaults*
<spaceelf> (Snickers)
<Irony> <L> No, you idiot! Look... just tell me what you think Zel and Amelia were doing in bed all week... and on the beach and in the hot spring and everywhere else they were doing it.
<spaceelf> (Elf looks up and gives the candy bar to Lina. Maybe it will make her feel better....)
<Irony> (Lina chews on it sullenly)
<spaceelf> (<L> Why would I have to be naked if it were my mouth??)
<BJ> <G> *Thinks about it and no doubt tries to remember those stories from the mercenary camp. Realization starts to dawn.* You want me to that???!
<Irony> <L> *starts to say yes, then realizes that she better make sure* Depends... what's 'that.' I wanna make sure you've got the right 'that.'
<BJ> <G>*Winces and readys himself for a fireball.* Put it in you?
<Irony> <L> *looks up* Thank you, thank you, thank you. *to Gourry* Yes.
<spaceelf> (gives Gourry a cookie too!)
<spaceelf> (<L> Good Boy!! What a bright student! And now for your reward....)
<BJ> <G> *Looks hesitant. Most of those stories where of women of very ill-repute.* Um... you want me to do that right now?
<Irony> <L> Yes.
<Irony> (Er... insert an in front of that.)
<BJ> <G> Um... which one?
<Irony> <L> *smile vanishes* What?
<BJ> <G> Which... you know... to put it in?
<Irony> <L> *groans and shuts eyes* Second one.
<spaceelf> (Give up explaining Lina. Just throw him down on the bed and SHOW him!)
<spaceelf> (BWAHAHAHAHA!!!)
<BJ> <G> *Peeks under the cover* Are you sure you want to do this?
<Irony> <L> YES.
<spaceelf> (And then we'll have Zel and Ame walk in!!)
<Irony> (You're MEAN!)
<BJ> (It's the honeymoon. They KNOW better.)
<BJ> (And risk Lina's wrath?)
<spaceelf> (You deserve it! But yes they DO know better. So you're lucky.)
<Irony> <L> Oh, god, I give up. Here... stay still...
<Irony> <L> *takes a deep breath*
<BJ> (Oh Elf! You know that you like Zel caught in compromising positions! *Grumble* Voyeuristic Elf...)
<spaceelf> (Eeep! <hides>)
<BJ> (You do know that they haven't kissed once during this whole scene.)
<spaceelf> (I've been found out!! Actually the truth is I like Zel in ANY embarrassing situation)
<Irony> (Yeah, I've noticed this... I think they can worry about that when they've got the basics downpat.)
<spaceelf> (It's funny to see an embarrassed Zel..)
<Irony> <L> *wiggles around, gets in position, and...*
<BJ> (Soon or later.)
<Irony> (Yeah... something cute about stone turning pink. ^^)
<BJ> (Takes the plunge?)
<Irony> (No... makes GOURRY take the plunge. ^^)
<spaceelf> (That's gonna hurt!!)
<Irony> (Yep... hence the deep breath and closing eyes first)
<Irony> <L> Eeep!
<spaceelf> (whoa.... I think the world just ended..)
<Irony> (*gives EFS a cookie*)
<Irony> (Who's dumb idea was this again?)
<BJ> <G> WHHOOA!

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